to be better, stronger, faster

I'm not smart enough

No, no, bear with me
I've never been smart enough
Never been clever enough
or witty enough
I'm no good at wordgames or puns
puzzles or codes or clues
I like things to be spelled out for me
except that's not true at all
I just... wish I could get from point a to point b to point k by myself
instead of forever needing someone else to point out the connections for me

I want a brilliant mind that can make wild(ly accurate) leaps of logic
the kind of brain which uses words like weapons, precise and deadly and accurate
I want to be the sort of person who would make a good codebreaker
or spy or gamemaster or writer or adventurer
maybe that's it - I've always wanted to be a great adventurer

but I don't think well enough or quickly enough
don't make the right connections fast
and I would always be beat by the opposition
or caught or trapped or just be too slow and have all the hostages die

oh well
just silly childhood aspirations anyway
right?